I should stay always positive and act as if life is great and my music is great and really, I got lots of fans and lots of likes on facebook ( Not yet a 100 for god sake) and really, it's no big deal acting as if I am a big star and bluffing out my life. On the other side, people who really know me, they can hear me complain about my uncertainty about who I am or what I am doing and yes, do I really have to go on this way or should I stop immediately with my musical adventures.
The anwer is of course: don't stop playing, just go on, what ever happens...
But life of a musician sometimes really sucks.
Of course I am aware of my musical limitations, I am not a very good singer, nor a very good guitar player. I just can't help that I just have to go on making music. Despite the applause that is not given, no "we want more"s, I really think I got to tell something.
Today I had this gig on a little party and the best thing that happened was this woman who came to me and said: "You're sound is terrible, I cannot talk because your music is too loud and the sound is bad and distorted, I don't like it at all. " She ordered her beer and when she left to the other side of the bar I told her I would do my best to change the sound. So I did.
Then, when I was playing and nobody was listening, I suddenly met her eyes and then she smiled at me and she gave me a big thumb. Was it because she couldn't hear me at all and she felt confident with it, or was it she did like my music because the sound was better ? I really don't know, my optimistic mind tells me to choose for the last option.
Anyway, this kind of gigs can happen and it makes me really really depressed and feeling misunderstood. Still I am a strong woman and that's why I toast on you and me, where ever you are and what ever you do.
The anwer is of course: don't stop playing, just go on, what ever happens...
But life of a musician sometimes really sucks.
Of course I am aware of my musical limitations, I am not a very good singer, nor a very good guitar player. I just can't help that I just have to go on making music. Despite the applause that is not given, no "we want more"s, I really think I got to tell something.
Today I had this gig on a little party and the best thing that happened was this woman who came to me and said: "You're sound is terrible, I cannot talk because your music is too loud and the sound is bad and distorted, I don't like it at all. " She ordered her beer and when she left to the other side of the bar I told her I would do my best to change the sound. So I did.
Then, when I was playing and nobody was listening, I suddenly met her eyes and then she smiled at me and she gave me a big thumb. Was it because she couldn't hear me at all and she felt confident with it, or was it she did like my music because the sound was better ? I really don't know, my optimistic mind tells me to choose for the last option.
Anyway, this kind of gigs can happen and it makes me really really depressed and feeling misunderstood. Still I am a strong woman and that's why I toast on you and me, where ever you are and what ever you do.
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